Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Christmas was great. Our (almost) month long stay in the Bay Area was great.

Forest is a great little guy. He handled being away from home, staying in a hotel, staying at his grandparents, and lots of visits with friends, like a little man. He got to spend a lot of time with Nona and Grandpa's dogs....which he always considers to be a good time! And even ended up attempting to take a rest in the dog crate on Christmas. A true animal lover. He also enjoyed the large Koi fish in the indoor pond at the hotel. He enjoyed them so much, that one day he decided they needed to borrow his Crocs...so he pulled them off his feet and threw them in to the fish!

I got to enjoy spending time with some friends and family members that i dont get to see very often. I also got to "enjoy" the craziness of Bay Area Christmas shopping...and with that came getting massively schooled on how to do the proper Alamo Starbucks line up. To each their own, i suppose! Needless to say, i am very glad to be back home and going to "my" Starbucks where i know how the flow of the line works! haha.

We are very glad to be home and catching up on some rest. I didnt realize how tired i was getting, being away with an 18 month old, until we finally got home!

Saturday, December 18, 2010


Like i mentioned in my last post, Forest has visiting with lots of people lately.

He had the privilege of spending an entire day with his "Uncle Paul".
Forest's "Uncle Paul" is a truly creative, intelligent, charismatic, and inspirational person.
I have never known anyone else in my life who is filled with more creativity and charisma than this man.
I consider it completely beautiful every time Forest gets to spend time with him.

The more time i spend here in the Bay Area on "vacation", the more i realize how blessed i am to have certain people in my life that my son is able to have a relationship with. The fact that he has so many people who love him, contributes so much to his life and his being so well rounded.
He is so fortunate, and i remind him constantly.

what a tiny man

The Little Man has been living it up during our time of "hotel living".

He has gotten to visit with many people lately, and i was able to capture a truly precious moment the other day. A coffee and cookies date with his Great Grandparents. The picture of all three of them, might need to be framed in my house. What a blessing that Forest has the opportunity to have a relationship with his great grandparents. I have told him before, that this is rare and special. He soaks it up every time they are with him.

Monday, December 13, 2010

This song speaks loudly. I dont like to push cheese onto my blog...but this song is loud.
Deeply touched this morning by the words.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Collecting leaves for Thanksgiving dinner table decor

Found some great leaves!

It was freezing!

Our friends came with us for this bundled up freezing walk

Robert was beyond excited about the outcome of his
"free range, fresh, Trader Joe's turkey"

We had a very nice Thanksgiving, yet somehow, we failed to take pictures.
Robert, Forest, and I, started the day out with watching the Thanksgiving parade on the couch with our coffee in the morning.
Extended family. Hot cider. A lot of Cooking. Eating too much wonderful food.
And lots of enjoying eachother's company!

A week before Thanksgiving, Forest and I set out (in a bad mood) to find two matching table cloths for our table plus the added fold up table we would be adding to it.
Finding two matching table cloths had become my Thanksgiving goal. And finding them for a cheap price was my even bigger goal. It wasnt happening.
Anyways, we set out (like i said) for our last attempt. It was freezing and about to pour rain.
On my way from the car to the store, I noticed a family sitting on the curb asking for money.
I thought to myself, "they sure do know how to work the oldest scheme in the book. Using their kids on a freezing cold day". But as I went inside the store, I looked at Forest and knew what we had to do. Went outside, asked them if they would like to join us for lunch, and they said yes.
So Forest, a woman, one of her sons, and I, walked to get lunch together. She hesitated to bring her other two boys, since they were younger and would probably get more money for the family by staying. Im not a fool. I know ALL the tricks. ALL the stories. ALL the reasons. I also,out of respect, dont ever mess with their "system". If their system was using the little kids for gaining pity, then i wasnt going to stand in the way of stopping their money flow. So, even though i knew her little boys were freezing, I let her make the choice of leaving the two youngest with their dad. (dont worry, we brought back food for them)
When we said goodbye after lunch, I prayed to God that they wouldnt stay out much longer.
And i prayed that i wouldnt stay focused on the fake stories i heard, or how sick with addiction they were.I needed to purely stay focused on the fact that, regardless of why they need money or how they have gotten to this point, i need to offer love and help. And i want Forest to see and know that this is not something unusual to do. And that its definitely not something to be doing
just once a year during the holidays.

With that said, Forest and I lost on our table cloth goal. We no longer had money for a stupid table cloth after the lunch outing. I did however, still manage to create a lovely dinner table for Thanksgiving. And had we bought the table cloth, we would have missed out on sharing a little bit of life with the people that we met.

Screw the tablecloth.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Busy Little Man

Quite proud of himself

Set this all up himself for a "jam session"

Ready to cook the Turkey
Typical Forest face

"AH! You caught me!"

Lawn mower needed repairs

Mowing the apartment

Hardly ever a boring moment at our place!
Forest got this awesome lawn mower from his Nona...or actually, he stole it from her house.
He prefers to use it at Nona's house, since its much larger than our apartment and allows him endless amounts of mowing time.
But for now, he has mastered maneuvering around the apartment...until he can bring it back to Nona's and push it with complete freedom and endless space!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Toilet fail

It is said that joy comes in the morning....well all i got this morning was a bunch of shit.

Literally, shit.

My cranky child went back to bed after breakfast, leaving me extremely excited for some alone time. Get myself ready for church without a tiny guy following me around. And maybe even sneak in a little bit of a re-run of one of my guilty pleasure shows (remains nameless).

WRONG! Instead, my toilet decided to come alive and overflow EVERYWHERE.
While applying my makeup i noticed my toilet would not stop running. And just as I decided to wise up and pick up the area rug (just in case), it began to overflow non stop.
Needless to say, my bathroom was flooding. I was trying not to scream since Forest was asleep, and amongst cussing, almost crying, and laughing, I shut the door to the flooding and poo filled bathroom and tucked a towel underneath...it was seeping into the hallway carpet!

Of course this had to happen the morning that Robert goes back to work for the week.

Thankfully, there is a plus side to this. Since i live in an apartment, i have 24 hour maintenance help. So after a frantic phone call, within 20 min(which seemed like a life time), help was here!
(always need to add in my pro-apartment living plug whenever possible).

Apparently all is well with the toilet now. The flood is soaked up. The shit is no longer floating by. The bathroom is deep cleaned. I decided to still go to church. I got a huge soy latte on the way home. My child is now in the living room unloading my purse. And peace is back again.

And yes, you are correct...I cussed and went to church all in the same day. Wow, imagine that!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Ive heard many things from my apartment windows, in the many places that I have lived.
But non have really compared to what Ive been hearing most recently.
And when i say hearing, i really mean, so loud, that my entire neighborhood is overtaken by it.
....sure beats hearing gun shots and crack addicts.......

Listen above

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

"Bohemian Influence" now has beautiful 100% silk necklaces available!

Currently available in two colors.
deep copper or a great blend of Fall colors in one!
$22.00 each

Be unique;influence the world.

Bohemian Influence
By Tiffany Rose

for orders and questions BohemianInfluence@gmail.com

Friday, October 29, 2010

This one's for you

To the cowardly "Anonymous" commenter.

If you hate what i say on my blog so much, why not STOP reading it? Pretty simple.
Obviously you are bored, since you keep coming back. Obviously you dont know me (at least not very well) since your making things up about me. And apparently you are old, since you called me a "young fool". Sounds like a great combo of a person...bored, attacks strangers, and old.
(How humorous though if im completely wrong!) hahaha.
But if my "judgmental" attitude, and supposedly "bad representation of Christ", and being a "young fool", entertains you...so be it. But at least stop being a coward by hiding behind anonymous the next time you decide to assume things about me and attack me.
And by the way, for some one that assumes and accuses me of being a "judgmental Christian", it seems that you are doing more than enough judging for all of us.

A rant on vampires and moms

To fellow Moms:

What is the deal with the "Twilight" series?
Seriously, why is this all you talk about? Why does it seem like this is all you read?
How can a series about vampires really be this interesting? How are you finding the time as a mom, to read something so ridiculous? Why are you MAKING time to read something so ridiculous?
Are you really this bored? Is there really nothing else more interesting to read/do?
This is mortifying that people now associate moms with reading and watching Twilight.
Who the hell cares about which vampires will fall in love next?
Stop talking about it on Facebook.
I definitely have my guilty pleasures too, but you wont find me in a deep discussion about them, and saying how it was so intense that i started sobbing and couldnt go on! Give me a break. Besides, a Tori and Dean episode would never get that intense....hahahaha.
How about we try harder not to make ourselves look like complete brainless morons, for the sake of eachother? And you wonder why stay at home moms(even working moms!) get a bad name for themselves?
Are you seriously still wondering why?

ps. While searching for this pic, a handful of mom blogs popped up
on my google search. No joke.

Monday, October 18, 2010

So excited to be celebrating our 5 year anniversary!

Cant believe its gone by so fast. So many things have happened since 5 years ago, that i cant even imagine what will happen over the next 5. Being married to Robert has brought such joy, adventure, love, friendship, and enhancement to my life. I dont know what i would do without him. I am so thankful for the little family that we are with our little Forest.
Love you Bert!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Most precious boy in the whole world

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Moments of peace are important

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Latest project

"Bohemian Influence"
by Tiffany Rose

Be unique; influence the world

Hand made fabric necklaces with a beautiful bohemian touch!
Each unique necklace is created from specially chosen fabrics, and finished with knotted fringe, which is designed to hang at the waist.
Necklaces can be created in any color and styles can vary by request!

Also, Introducing the "Veda" collection! Start a trend for a great cause!

Proceeds from this collection go to my best friend Elise and her daughter Ella-Jean, while they live in Cambodia to love the orphaned and poor.

Veda necklaces are available in just one color at a time. (current color shown below). A new color for this collection will be available when the current color runs out.
Each Veda necklace is $12.00

Contact me at BohemianInfluence@gmail.com

-be sure to mention "Veda" if inquiring about the necklaces to support Elise and Ella-Jean!

Current Veda necklace (above) is a creative blend of deep purple, yellows, and browns.
And made from a very unique frayed fabric.

Friday, September 17, 2010

"YES! My own sand box!"
Yesterday Forest woke up to Robert converting the kiddie pool into a sand box.

Immediately got to work!..in his pajamas

Thanks Dad!

The captive...spying on Robert from the balcony patio, while he brought up the sand bags

This is what prompted us to just make our own at home!
He totally loves sand, rocks, sticks, dirt, wood chips, and even trucks now.

By the way...once swim season is over, re-using the kiddie pool as a sand box is totally cheap and great! Now we have something to do outside, even when its raining! (our patio is covered).

Monday, September 13, 2010

Back on the mat

I guess this has been the week of getting "back in action". For both me and Forest.
Perhaps my sister's blog prompted me...but its been a long time coming, so maybe it would have happened this week anyways.

For the first time in over a year, after way too much change and stress,I finally feel "normal" again.
I feel like im in a personal place of being ready to get back into things. Things that have been and still are a huge part of who I am.

So, last week I began a new yoga class. Every Thurs evening is now dedicated to MYSELF, and my practice of yoga. Yep, im back on the mat again!
I have already been very serious in my at home practices this whole summer, but its so encouraging and challenging to be back in a class as well. And a special bonus is that Forest has already been fed, bathed, and put to bed before i get home! yeeeeeeees.

Another exciting thing is that I met with the staff at the Redding Rescue Mission, and they are currently putting together an idea of something they want me to be doing with the women that are currently in their women's recovery program. Ill expand on this in the near future once all the details are worked out.

As for Forest....This morning he made his come back at the library's "Story Time".
After not attending all summer, he definitely went back in with a bang! My child was completely besides himself with excitement. He was "that kid"! He apparently felt the need to "help" the story teller with her stories and felt characters. He stood right next to her the entire time.
And when the puppet show started, he could no longer hold back...he had to stand the entire time while gasping, screaming, yelling, pointing, and rambling. The other children just stared at him. The other moms smiled...the sympathy smile. As if he was doing something wrong and they felt bad for me. Excuse me! He wasnt doing anything wrong...he was totally living it up at story time! When it came time to play, his little friends were not impressed and they quietly played. Well, still completely impressed by the puppet show, Forest was on a role and ran around with his plastic tools, scaring all of his boring little friends. He's not a bully at all. Hes not rude. He doesnt act mean towards other kids. He's sweet and kind, and full of life.
Yet, I received more sympathy smiles.

Why the sympathy??! My kid had a total blast! And i loved watching him!

If anyone has sympathy to give out, its me...because i feel bad for all the moms who were there with their boring kids...who are labeled "good" for being TOTALLY BORING and LIFELESS!
um, i'll stop there. Could go on about this for days....((holding myself back....holding myself back))

.......a child is "good" if he sits with his hands in his lap for 20 minutes? And "bad" if he needs to stand during that time? ummm....oooook

Watch out moms who are raising their kids to be "good", because this Little Man is coming back to Story Time every week!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Thanks Sarah for the Inspiration

My sister recently posted a great blog entry. All about who we are as women aside from being mothers. We were (and still are) something other than a "mom" before the kids started coming around. She referred to the phrase "Yummy Mummy". EW?! WHAT?! Do people really refer to themselves as that? I thoroughly love raising Forest, but if some one asked me who i was, and all i could come up with was "I'm a Yummy Mummy"....i would have to die.
The kids cant be all there is to us. The constant wearing of velour jumpsuits, yoga pants, and t-shirts, cant be all there is to us. Neither can playing at the park, cleaning up crap, only showering when able to fit it in, the constantly preparing food, and play dates.
Gross. How does that even amount to"Yummy?" It sounds so gross an unattractive.

Ok. Enough.

She inspired me to do what she did; so, this is who I am.

I am Tiffany. A young woman who lives as a follower of Jesus. Passionate about seeing a change take place in inner city communities, and in the lives of the homeless and impoverished.
A loving wife. An aspiring "Yogi". A traveler. A proud vegetarian. A coffee consumer.
A mom to Forest....and a fun one too!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Always Leave Room to be a Goon

Some times you just need to allow yourself to be a total and complete GOON

Last week Robert and I took Forest out to a park that we recently discovered.
The childrens area is much larger than the one we typically go to. And there is more shade too.
There is also a big water section. The ground is spongy and there are many big structures that have a constant spray of water coming out. In the middle is big volcano that errupts water ever 15 minutes. When this thing errupts, it makes a loud thunder type of sound and kids freak out screaming! This thing is intended to completely soak everyone...and it does!
Its not a spray...its a total dumping of water.
Forest was really into all the sprayers. He is too young to roam around alone, so i decided to go in with him. So, there i was, completely soaked, looking like a total goon, and my lovely (and dry) husband, just watched and laughed. Suddenly other kids came in and their moms all sat near Robert. Yes, this left me to be THAT mom....the total and complete GOON of a mom.
But ask everyone who they thought was having the most fun, and they would probably say it was ME!

Monday, September 6, 2010



Fall is here. My absolute favorite time of the year. Specifically October...just a few weeks away!
All great things happen in Fall.

Weather changes to how i like it.
Leaves turn great colors.
Fall wardrobe!
Wearing layers
Cold nights
Cold mornings
The HUGE Pumpkin Patch (new tradition started last year)
Forest can wear a beanie if weather permits
Day light savings changes....thank God
Our wedding anniversary
My birthday
Getting to feel cozy again
Cold enough outside to play at the park ANY time of the day


The Pumpkin Spice Latte is back for the season!

This tasty little seasonal treat is very expensive, and very sugary, and very intense.
Which means ordering just a "tall", usually does the trick. And honestly, i will probably just be ordering it once this year. And that will be the morning of the "HUGE pumpkin patch tradition".

The latte is a part of the tradition. Well, at least its part of how I do the tradition haha.
Cant wait to throw on a plaid flannel and take Forest out there! He is going to completely freak out with pure joy this year! Finally, hes at the age of really enjoying things. And this time it wont just be me freaking out with joy over the great petting zoo!

Nicole Richi also goes to pumpkin patches (just an fyi)

Thursday, August 19, 2010

My parenting technique explained by some one else

I copied and pasted this from a blog that i love reading on a regular basis.
Shes originally from Canada, but now lives in a different country, (maybe Ireland??)
so some words are unfamiliar. And please excuse some of her words she uses that i typically leave out of my blog though im thinking them while typing.
Enjoy...even though its very long.

***Disclaimer: I am not perfect. I do not have all the answers. I am not using this post to toot my own horn, inflate my ego or congratulate myself. I'm an ass as a mother regularly, have exceedingly limited patience and fuck up - these are just my musings and observations as of late***

I hope I can articulate myself properly...

I've been watching people interact with my daughter lately and their own children and children around them.

For instance at the GPs yesterday there was a nana and three boys. The youngest was being... a kid lol and annoyed the Nana. Her response was to get in his face, wag her finger and repeat "Bold!" 5 times. Then as she sat down she turned to another child about 8 and goes "Isn't he just the boldest boy?! So bold!" and sat down. The boy then proceeded to do something else that irritated his nan and she repeated this. Then he upset another child and she roared in his face "BOLD! Say SORRY!" and when the wee one went to hug the offended child, she goes "NO hugs for you! SAY SORRY!". And then roughly tied him in his buggy, thrust his blankey and bottle at him and strapped him down.

I REALLLLLY wanna be sarcastic about this, but I'll behave.
But first - what. the. fuck.

ok ok. Here goes.

A) How does the child know what was inappropriate if she doesn't explain it?

B) How does he know what he SHOULD be doing if she doesn't communicate or demonstrate it? What is his frame of reference in these two areas? All he had was a meaningless word connected with shame and negativity yelled in his face.

C) Why is saying sorry with a hug negative? What if that is his best way of communicating sorry?

D) How humiliating and betraying must it be to have your loved one yell at you and then mock you to an utter stranger? Shame, much?

E) How does physically restraining him teach him a better way? What does it communicate?

F) How will you now use that buggy for transportation when it has a negative associated with it? I wonder if she gets frustrated when he balks at going into it, when having used it as a punishment previously.

G) How does giving comforting objects after being yelled at affect a kid?

Here are my thoughts. Where is the respect and communication? This kid is pretty brand new to the world and doesn't innately know the rules of engagement. Give him something to WORK with. You can't punish someone for playing a guessing game and coming up wrong. I yell at my kid. I give out fiercely when angered, pushed, see unacceptable behavior, etc. But then (usually - even if it takes me awhile to calm down and re-engage) I explain things. Why the action was not ok, alternative actions, different options, ask how she would feel if someone did that to her if appropriate to the situation. The point is my goal is to inform her of the hows, whys and wherefores so she isn't flying blind next time and can actually understand what is expected of her. I don't always remember or get it right, but it's what I strive for pretty consistently. I occasionally using scathing sarcasm tho... >_<

The point is have some fucking empathy for the kid and put yourself in their shoes. Do you like respect? So do they. Do you like having things explained and communicated clearly to you in a way you can engage and grasp? SO DO THEY! It's not an adult thing, its a human thing and it has no age limit. I do not think one gains the privilege of respect and understanding and empathy once they hit a certain age or prove themselves worthy.

Or take today for example. We're at the stationary shop and the wee one spots a gorgeous journal with horses on it. It's 16.00 quid so I explain we can count her piggy bank and whatever she needs above that to make up the 16, she can work for. Yes, she's five. She grins and agrees and continues on lusting for the journal. Fair enough... Mummy understands this. However, it seemed to offend the cashier who took it upon herself to assist me in my parenting. "Those are for eight year olds! You have to be eight to get one - a big girl!". I stood there dumbfounded for a minute and at a total loss as to what to say. The wee one believed her and looked crushed. "So I can't get one Mumma?". I replied - I told you, you can - we just have to check your money and save up what you need babe." and let it at that.

First of all why the fuck would you LIE to my child. She wasn't whining, she wasn't being bold, she was asking a normal question, respected my reply and was simply admiring the object of her desire. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM!? Second of all I HATED the assumption that such a gorgeous diary can not be intended for a 5 year olds hands because we full well know it'll be full of scribbles. And? She's entitled to own something beautiful and well made just as much as anyone else is. The dismissal and lack of respect towards her really got under my skin even though I know she had only helpful intentions.

Do kids ruin stuff? Yeah. So you can either not buy em nice stuff, or start off teaching them the value of what they have and letting them feel the consequences if they do not take care of it properly. HOW ELSE ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO LEARN? Do kids do bold stuff, upset others or cross the line? All the time - it's part of growing up. But if you don't communicate, explain and guide HOW ELSE WILL THEY GRASP WHAT'S EXPECTED OF THEM?!

When I first started reading about attachment parenting and respecting children as individuals right from their birth I was epically skeptical. The gentle parenting movement even more so. I had visions of these saccharine gentle Mums who coddle their children and never raise their voice, etc. I started picking what I liked of it and leaving what didn't suit. The results are really amazing. When I came across unschooling and realized it was a across the board way of living in every aspect of life, I did the same thing and started taking parts of it onboard.

This stuff REALLY works. Respect for them as individuals, as much as you'd give an adult, simply makes perfect sense to me now. Yes you tailor things to age appropriate and yes you over ride when necessary and compromise and sometimes encounter battles... but in general, giving them age appropriate choices, communicating continuously, especially in discipline and really welcoming them into sharing life with you instead of just raising them to obey and follow directives? It makes for some really enjoyable parenting and fascinating, confident, strong, empowered kids.

Me likey.

The key has been, for me, paying attention to the different facets/motives at play in a given situation, empathy and communication. Bold behavior can sometimes be the child trying their damdest to do a good thing. Instead of scolding, praising the intent and offering a less another way makes a world of difference. "Aw thanks for trying to clean the _______ - it was really thoughtful. It's a big job though and next time you need to ask Mum for help and we can practise doing it together."

In my house? This occasionally looks like "Ah hun, what the hell?! Oh. You were trying to clean that for me? Ah but baby! *Sigh*. Thanks for trying hun, but this is a pretty big mess. I know you meant well but like... can you ask me for help next time? Mum'll help. You know that! No -I'm not mad at you - you tried hard... I just really hate cleaning is all."

I've also started off with OMG WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? or BABY GET YOUR ARSE IN HERE AND CLEAN THIS UP! Yeah I know you're trying to help BUT COME ON!

I am not a shiney perfect example. But the THEORY holds. And works. Even when I lose my shit, I do go back and discuss it with her. Sometimes roughly, but usually calmly and we discuss and voila. USUALLY not an issue again. It's NEAT!

The empathy comes into play because kids have half the info we do, have to acclimatize to adult life a LOT and are expected to do so without question, input or any kind of shared authority, etc. That HAS to suck. Especially when their emotions can take a back seat. Ever have an epic shitty day and just need ________? As an adult we can fulfill that ourselves. Kids can't always and I think this is where empathy is important, even if it means compromising or changing plans.

Communication has been the biggest benefit to our relationship. But I am sick and it goes out the window regularly and that's when stuff goes to hell in a hand bag. But I love communication. I love empowering her. I love giving her the tools to express herself. I love seeing her grasp different aspects of life and expectations, etc. I love giving her space to voice whatever it is she needs to voice. Sometimes it profound and relevant. Sometimes it's utterly painful incoherent ramblings. I still give her the space for those too. The point is to establish she has valid input and there WILL be space for it, even if it isn't relevant as of yet because eventually it will be and then the precedent is set. Maybe not always right away but we'll come back to it. I purposely give her this space with others too, sometimes to their shock lol. If she says something to someone and they dismiss her, I suddenly grown balls I don't have for myself and say, Sorry but she just explained something to you and she means it. I love being there to back my kid up.

The neighbor was here and the wee one gave her son a gift. The neighbor insisted it was just a loan and the wee one was like no no, I want him to have it. She would. not. listen. She goes, we'll bring it back in a few days. I finally said, "Hey, seriously. She said it was a gift. It's ok, that's what she wants to do." Neighbor was at a loss. I mean, yeah my daughter might regret she gave it away later, but she's been respected in her voiced decision and will grasp the consequences later if she doesn't already. Where is the problem?

Then she said to the wee one, my son will bring back your socks tomorrow after we wash them. She looked at me pleading and I realized right away she didn't want to lose her special new socks for even a day so I said, sorry do you mind if we just take them now? They're special to her and she'd like them back. I wouldn't do that for myself but I do for her and I can tell she appreciates being validated.

Oh. my. god. I am rambling. I hope this post has made sense.

Basically I guess I want to advocate for respecting children instead of treating them... less than. It REALLY does make all the difference and this is coming from a woman who thought kids needed to be trained even if it meant breaking them. It's a frustrating journey to constantly retrain myself, remind myself, have patience, stop and re-assess, etc.... but it is genuinely making a huge difference. She's a contributing member of this family and her voice carries as much weight as anyones, even if it requires more guidance at times.

Also we're writing their internal processes with them at this age. If they feel voiceless, powerless and dismissed all their lives, how can we be surprised when they grow up either aggressively demanding their dues or carrying on powerless, voiceless and accepting of being treated like a doormat. I'd much rather instill you have value as does everyone else and always remember that. I'd rather her grasp her own power to compromise, her own power to establish boundaries, to say no, the humility to go back when you fuck up (as I do often), be able to admit when wrong, be ready to correct a wrong, etc, etc, etc.

Aaaand there you go. END OF RAMBLE!
Kudos if you got this far.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Starting off my week with a few thoughts;

Even though i was caught this morning.dumping water out of my child's kiddie pool over the side of my 2nd story apartment patio, I will still continue to do it multiple times throughout the week.

Even though Rachel Zoe technically makes it ok for flat chested women like myself (and her) to not wear a bra with some outfits, a lot of people disagree...thank you Rachel Zoe for agreeing with me!

Even though most people dont understand what its like to be 100% completely on my own and in charge of a child and everything else, from wake up time to bed time, most days. I call the shots. I make the decisions. And the pressure and lack of breaks and support that come with it.
I can still be nice to them.

Even though i cant stand watching "Housewives of New Jersey", I cant seem to get myself to
actually stop watching! I mean, seriously, the show NEEDS to end.

And even though i feel like i will pass out every time i get up today, i still have to face the entire day with my little twirp, until 10:15 pm hits, when my husband comes home.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Apartment dwellers

Proof that it IS possible to live in an apartment AND have a kid

The grass is great, but the rocks, sticks and cement always appeal more to him

When we are inside, hes a non-stop cruiser with some sort of "job" to always do.
Every morning he takes this box around the house with a very serious look on his face.

(Please not the kiddie pool on the patio)
Every apartment dwelling kid needs one!
But he also loves the "big boy pool"

Nothing like ending the day, cuddled up in "his spot" with some books
under the living room window.

His spot is basically a big floor pillow that i set under the window. His books and a toy basket are nearby.
He often takes himself to his pillow
when hes tired or just needs to take a moment.
He considers this his chill spot, and his place of comfort.

And perfect that its under the window, because
he loves to stand at the window (which is at his height) and spy on everyone below.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

a few shots from daiy happenings

Loving the Farmer's Market

Soccer at the park with Robert

Working on his tan

evenings at the park

Chillin with Dad

1 car for now

Robert and I have not had two vehicles since 2007.
We have been a 1 car family for a few years. This was so convenient when we lived in San Francisco. We worked together, so no separate commutes. Paid for just one car each month to keep in the parking garage, rather than 2. We actually had NO commute, because we lived on-site.
And well duh, you basically just walk to most things you need in the city.

Now that we are living the suburban life for a while, we are forced to realize that 1 car is no longer practical. Robert now commutes. I now stay home with twirp boy. Roberts gone from 7 am until 10 pm...twirp boy and I are unable to do ANYTHING beyond our apartment complex.
Not realistic.

God provides...always. We do have a second car prospect. And Robert should be sitting in the drivers seat of it within the next couple of weeks. Leaving me with the glorious Honda van.

But, for now. Twirpo and I are missing out on our fun activities, days at the park, running errands, story time at the library, etc.

And while missing out on those things, Forest is soaking up "creative time" at home, swimming at the "big boy pool" with the tons of kids that live here, Watching "Little Bear" in our bed at night, loud and obnoxious bath times, learning to walk, doing his yoga moves, reading books, dancing to his favorite kinds of music, yelling, screaming, singing, and going on hunger strikes.
He is quite passionate about most things.

And im soaking up too much non-stop cleaning, lots of cooking, lots of "playing", lots of explaining things to Forest as he learns new things each day, projects in the apartment, pre-making all of Bert's meals for each day he is at work, lots of yoga, lots of "im ok, i can do this", and purely spending time with the precious little man. Not to mention being extremely thankful for my lovely bed at the end of each day.

Pics coming soon

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Having a "moment"

Its an interesting thing to see 100 homeless people sing worship songs together.
Its an interesting thing to see numerous addicts sincerely sing to God.
Its an interesting thing to see the mentally used-up stretch their hands to heaven.
Its an interesting thing to see a man pray for healing, and then gain feeling throughout his body for the first time in years.
Even the ragged, despaired, stuck, and horrendously swallowed up, are aware that there is a higher power.
For a moment my heart believes that a change can happen.
I want to always feel like a change can happen.
Lives can be renewed.
Addictions can be broken.
Minds can be set free.
Poverty can die and quality of life can begin.

Tonight I can tell myself to sleep.
For this moment my heart believes that a change can happen.

Found this in an old journal and also in an old blog entry from 2008.
2008...the year i turned 25 and the year that i had always claimed would be MY year.
It totally was. I always said i needed to be doing what i loved and was serious about by age 25. So i did. It happened. I was also pregnant on my 25th birthday. (Not planned, but incredible non the less). I had reached my "goal" of doing what im serious about. It lasted 2 years. Now im here with my 1 year old precious son, wondering what the heck am i supposed to be doing now? Thought i would be raising him in the ghetto of San Francisco, but im no longer in SF, and purely raising Forest. But im stuck asking myself..."what am i supposed to be doing and who am i supposed to be now?"
Perhaps an identity crisis of some sort? I was living amongst crack addicts, and now im hosting "play group" at my apartment. What is happening to me?
Im torn between two lives i think. Part of me desires to see the world and still be apart of something incredible, but the other part of me says, "i AM apart of something incredible;raising Forest. And i AM using my knowledge of the world and what it means to truly live out love...by teaching, showing, and just living it, with Forest.
God must have known that I NEEDED to accomplish my "age 25 goal", because HE only wanted it to last a short time. So incredibly grateful for God answering my prayer at age 17, sitting in the grass in Romania, "give me a passion that the world cannot explain".
Its true, ive never been able to explain it.
And forever thankful for getting to experience my "age 25 goal". Cant believe it actually happened by the exact age!
Without those two things, I would have never had the understanding of what it means to truly love and to truly live.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

3rd Book! Hellzzz yeah! hahaha

Guess I know what ill be getting from Bert for my bday this year!
3rd book, and 3rd bday in a row of getting her books.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

We have moved.....again! We are LOVING it!

Enjoying very hot summer days, swimming in the pool, also playing in kiddie patio pool, changing lots of poop filled "swim diapers", going on walks, playing in the grass, b.b.qing corn on the cob, enjoying being a family.

Catch up with pics soon!

Speaking of "swim diapers". Today while changing an explosive poop swim diaper, I had a flash back of a chapter in Tori Spelling's book "Mommywood". Tori, thanks for coaching me through this hideous moment!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Birthday Boy!

We made it through the first year! hahaha

Typical happy Forest face (little bit like my twin)

Dad, show me what to do!
The Little Man has turned 1 year old!

We had a really fun time celebrating Forest's 1st birthday with family and friends this
past weekend. Its hard to believe a year has already gone by.
He is such a precious little man! I am so blessed to have him as my son.

He thoroughly enjoyed his party and ALL of his presents!
He couldnt wait to get up and play with them the next morning....once all of his cousins were
gone and he had the toys to himself! Yet, despite all of these great new things, he promptly went into the kitchen, opened the cabinet, pulled out the oatmeal container, grabbed a spatula, sat on the floor and started to drum. Typical.