Wednesday, February 2, 2011

This weekend i had the opportunity to get away over night from Robert and Forest.
This was exactly what i needed! Even though, it was just to visit my family (rather than some awesome spa retreat). The 3 hour drive was actually wonderful...never though i would say that. But it was the perfect amount of alone time for me. And did i mention i was able to sleep 10 hours that night? O yes.
During my drive i thought about tons of things, made some phone calls, listened to a lot of music.
But i kept going over in my mind a quote that ive put on this blog before.

"Limiting the freedom of our children in order to teach them external controls, smallness, contraints, and fear of punishment is not a strategy that works in the long run. Instead, we must teach our kids what freedom looks like, feels like, and how to prosper in it."

The more i think about it, the more i believe it, agree with it, and act on it.
I will occasionally look at other people's blogs, and i remember reading something that another mom had written. It was in reference to how she disciplines her kids (she has 6).
It has always stood out to me, especially as i think about this quote that i love.
She said that when the family is at home, she will spend the day setting up "traps" for her kids.
She sets them up. She waits for them to fail the "test". When they do, she promptly deals out her form of discipline (which is besides the point, so i wont mention it). Anyways, this really bothers me. When training dogs, we are told not to set them up for failure just so we can punish them to teach them a lesson. I cant help but think, that we probably should take this tip to heart when it comes to raising kids as well. (duh).
This woman should really be embarrassed...i mean, some things just shouldnt be put on the internet for all to read.

My son might throw rocks, nibble his crayons, sit on the coffee table, enjoy extended amounts of time naked, cry when he's been in sunday school too long, express himself with loud noises (yes, even indoors *gasp*), and have the need to RUN most of the day(*gasp* no! a boy? really??)
But at the end of the day, what do any of those things matter when it comes to his future?
Children will face enough disappointment, discouragement, and failure, throughout their life.
They dont need us (their parents) to purposely set them up for it.

"When we keep our children from experiencing what its like to think for themselves, make their own decisions, and experience the consequences of those decisions, we either end up with compliant children who will be completely at sea when they leave home, or rebellious children who will wrestle freedom right out of our hands as soon as they find out we've been with holding it."